Well, I've not written in a few weeks and what a few weeks it's been.
Looking back, I think it's fair to say that I have suffered quite a lot with nausea and sickness during my recovery. Obviously I was told it was pretty much a given side-effect, but I thought that it would be negative to expect to be really ill, so I totally underestimated how debilitating it would be. I've had a few days respite, but it seems to be back today annoyingly. Anyway, I need to go back a few weeks and fill you in on what's been going on of late before I bring it up to the present.
Wc 5th Dec was actually quite a good week overall. I saw a mixture of friends and the Friday was a great day, I started to feel more like myself. I was struggling with nausea and insomnia, but it felt like there was a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Then out of the blue, 5am on Sat morning (10th Dec), I woke up totally confused about who I was, where I was and what was going on. I was unable to speak other than to say 'I don't feel well', I had a numb face, pins and needles in my tongue, lips and right arm, unable to tolerate light and feeling sick. My OH got me ready to go to hospital and I managed to pack a bag just in case before getting in the car about 20 mins later. By the time we got to the local hospital the pain had started and I was pretty much in agony and vomiting every few minutes.
I don't have a lot of memory about what happened after that. I was admitted pretty quickly, rushed into the CT scan and taken up to the acute ward. I do remember the pain being totally unbearable and saying to my family 'help me, please do something' which was obviously very distressing for them. I was really violently sick every few minutes because of the pain and I didn't eat for the 3 days I was in. I was put on morphine, IV paracetamol, a drip and anti-sickness IV. They gave me so much morphine it was ridiculous and I honestly felt like I was on drugs - I was off my head. I was taken for an MRI about 20 mins after being given morphine which in a way was good as I hate MRIs and I don't remember anything about it, but bad because when they brought me out, I had some kind of fit / passed out. Again, I don't remember but I have a big bruise on my thigh and it was very distressing for my OH.
I was then transferred back to the hospital in London where I'd had my surgery. All in all I was in for a week. They explained they had to rule out stroke, epilepsy and tumours. Thankfully all of these things were ruled out, but of course it was a worried and stressful time for all and it seemed to take forever to get to the bottom of. The consultant neurologist has diagnosed severe migraines, in addition to the brain condition and thyroid problems I've been diagnosed with in the last 3 months. That said, I am sceptical as to whether there is no link between all the conditions, but I don't suppose we'll ever know. He's given me a treatment plan to manage these in the future so that I nip them in the bud before I get hospitalised. Basically if they don't get treatment then I'll end up vomiting constantly, unable to eat, dehydrated and on a drip for a week. Nice.
I've only been getting migraines since April this year. And it seems too much of a coincidence that I had a laparoscopy in Feb this year, for which I was treated for Endometriosis/PCOS and I believe has had an effect on my hormone levels. We all know that hormones can play a huge part in migraines... So only time will tell I suppose. I have to go back and see my Endocrinologist about my thyroid in the new year, so I think this is something I'll bring up with him then. It's so tricky though having a neurosurgeon, neurologist, endocrinologist and obs & gynae looking after your conditions because it doesn't feel like anyone is looking at the whole picture. And so often they say 'it's trial and error' which feels like 'we don't really know, sorry.'
The only control I can have is looking after myself so that's what I intend to do. I want to return to training in the new year and go back on my nutritional plans for Endo/PCOS.
Lastly, before I end, I need to apologise if the blog is a bit bland and devoid of emotions. I literally don't have the energy to have any emotions about any of this stuff today. It is what it is and I am taking life one day at a time. It has proved to me that God (or whatever you believe in) has the ultimate plan for your life and there's nothing you can do about that. You just have to be the best person you can be and manage things as best you can, with the tools and resources you have.
I will however write again before Christmas and it will be a blog of gratitude and positivity.
S x
