Mon 7th Nov
So the 4 of us (me, OH, Mum and MIL) arrived at The Wellington South hospital in St John's Wood at 7.20am. I think I was strangely serene by this point. I know I was starving hungry because I wasn't allowed to eat anything from the night before to after the op. There wasn't much conversation in the car on the way down, but I think everything had already been said.
We were shown up to my room at just before half past and before I could even get my coat off, my Consultant and the nurse had arrived with the consent form. I was having bloods taken, the ID wristband put on, blood pressure taken and anti-thrombosis socks put on before I knew what was happening. It was all very quick, but to be honest, I am so glad. For two reasons a) I didn't have hours of waiting around, getting stressed and b) I was back up in my room around 11.30am so I had gained almost another day's recovery time.
Anyway no sooner had I got on the trolley to go down to theatre, I started crying. I had promised myself that I would try hard not to (I've done so much crying over this!), but actually when the time came, it felt like it was OK to do that. I just kept saying 'I am SO scared' and the staff were all very kind.
I gave my family huge hugs and then into the prep room I went. They gave me a sedative to calm me down and then the anaesthetic. It was much slower acting than previous ones I've had and I was in the prep room longer, but because the whole thing was quite quick, I welcomed that. I remember feeling like I wanted to jump off the telly and go running up the corridor screaming. The sedative helped with that!
I don't remember much of coming round in the recovery room. Just being asked if I had pain or sickness and given some drugs to help with both. But I don't remember the pain or nausea if I did have it, it was sorted out very quickly. The only thing I really remember is them taking out my arterial line in my wrist, but not because there was pain or anything.
When I came back to the room, late morning, I actually didn't feel too bad at all. I was chatting and joking with everyone for the rest of the day apparently. Everyone kept saying that I was better than they thought I would be at that stage. I remember thinking not to get too smug about that. (How right I was!)
So at that point, I was flat on my back, with quite a few tubes. I was hooked up to oxygen via two pipes in my nose, a morphine PCA, two canulas for drugs and a drain from my brain. Oh and the inflatable anti-thrombosis socks, which did become very hot and uncomfortable. I think that was everything. The one thing I didn't have and had worried about having was a catheter. The surgeon said that because I was young and it was best to try and avoid catheters for the risk of infection that I should try to use a bed pan. Well, without getting too personal - you can't begin to imagine how impossible that is, when you're numb and lying flat. In the end they gave me a catheter, I was in more pain with my bladder than I was with my head and I became slightly hysterical. I think part of it was something was not as I expected it to be and the thought of wetting the bed was scaring me!
I think I managed to have something to eat and drink, which wasn't easy again lying down but it wasn't too bad.
Tues 8th / Weds 9th
Were the worst 2 days and 2 nights. I was sick continually. I had tried to carry on eating on the Tues, but was pretty unable. The smell or thought of food was enough to make me sick. They took me off the Morphine and I stopped taking the Ibruprofen tablets as these were thought to be making me nauseous. When I say I was sick, that just can't even describe how sick. It's a constant nauseous feeling, with actual throwing up a couple of times each hour I suppose. But obviously you're still lying down and you have stitches (and a drain) in your head, so you are petrified to be sick in case you choke or burst your stitches. It's pretty terrifying. That said, I did really well - it's really normal with the op to be sick for weeks. Actually my sickness was worse when we first went into hospital back in August - I had sickness for pretty much 3 weeks solid.
I had lots of family visitors during this time which helped lift my spirits and the nurses were all great at reassuring us that everything was normal with my recovery. My surgeon came to see me every morning as well.
Thurs 10th
I think they took my drain out on the Thursday and I felt better almost straight away, it was definitely the start of phase 2 of recovery. It was also a pretty awful experience. The Dr said he would pull the drain out (of my brain) and then stitch it up. I was like 'Oh, OK (not the greatest but fine), so I'll have a local anaesthetic for that?' and the Dr said 'No, no, you don't need anaesthetic'. GREAT. I managed to only say 'Jesus' as they removed it, which I thought I did pretty well for. The word I wanted to say starts with FU and ends with CK. As the drain came out, the pressure in my head changed. The weidest feeling in the world. But at least it feels better. My hearing since then has pretty much been 'in stereo' so I keep having to tell everyone 'sssshh!' with I think it wearing thin with my carer / OH.
I was also reduced to 1 canula on the Thurs and I was allowed to sit up a bit more, so gradually I started to feel like I was making progress.
Fri 11th
The Fri was a good day on the whole as I had my first physio session, so I managed to persuade the staff to remove the catheter that I had begged for in the first place. It was driving me IN-sane by this point. So that I could get up. I sat on the edge of the bed for 5 minutes in the morning and then I was allowed to walk to the toilet in my room in the afternoon, with help. It felt very strange, almost like learning how to stand and balance again, but the area of the brain they operate near looks after balance and co-ordination, so it's to be expected I suppose. That and the fact that you've been lying down, flat on your back for 5 days.
Sat 12th
The first day I think I managed to have the telly on. I watched part of a film but was so worn out I gave up part way through. I wasn't able to read a magazine either at this point. It was too tiring and my eyes wouldn't focus. Plus very uncomfortable looking down.
Sun 13th
I was discharged. Top tip for anyone having the surgery, take a neck pillow for the car journey as it would've been really uncomfortable without that. I had my 2nd physio appt and managed to walk up one half flight of stairs.
Worst Part
Other than the sickness and the drain... I think the best way I can describe my stay in hospital, is it was like someone coming off hard drugs, cold turkey. I wasn't sure what conversations I'd had were real, my temperature was all over the place - with sweats and then cold shakes, the sickness, terrifying nightmares and panic attacks. The panic attacks in the night were the worst - I seemed to suffer with those quite badly. I'd wake up, not knowing where I was, but who I was either. At one point I dreamt I had been on Deren Brown's show and that I hadn't really had the surgery, I'd just been hypnotised to think I had and my surgery was actually next week. That really messed up my mind!! I don't think Morphine agrees with me, I hope never to have to take it again.
Best Part
Some of the best things I took into hospital:
- Hand fan (thanks Gdad)
- Mouth freshner (thanks little bro)
And of course, all the support and love I received. Thank you from the bottom of my heart if you sent a text, a FB message, flowers, a card etc. I hope I have said thank you individually to everyone that did, by now. I have tried to do that, because I cannot tell you how appreciated it's been. This op has changed me forever, but I wouldn't wish it on anyone. My family have really been through it as well, so thank you for all the support they have received.
I am not really sure if any of this has made any sense actually and too tired to proof read it. I am EXHAUSTED now I've typed this up, but I wanted to get it down before I forget. Going to have some lunch and a sleep. More to come - but probably updates once a week at the moment.
Stitches and staples out tomorrow - so thinking that will be an uncomfortable day.
Friday - I am hoping to wash my hair. I REALLY hope so because it smells like something has crawled in there and died. And it LOOKS like I have NEVER washed it.
Sarah xxx
No comments:
Post a Comment